Thank you for truly braving your heart space and posting. It is an amazing gift to me.
It's 11:11 pm in Minnesota and one month since I gave birth to my heart teacher Max. We celebrated by putting his birthstones in my ears. I feel him everywhere, he is everywhere but I literally see him in the eyes of my sisters babes. Zoe walks down the stairs with her rainbow wings and pauses to look up past me, "Aunty Heather I have to be careful with my wings, Max does too". Howard told a visitor yesterday, "Max didn't stay because he has bigger work to do". They know. It is the adults that have a harder time. On the other edge of rejoicing that Max is present is the reminder that he is not physically here. If given the chance I would fist fight god with brass knuckles and go into straight up spiritual warfare to have Max with me. I did this. I did this fully and didn't get what I wanted. None of us did. So let us not bullshit my amazing warriors for Max, nothing about this is about getting something in return. Again, nothing about this is fair. Again, nothing about this is anything but unconditional love. This is one of the most difficult teachings of Max and if you are going to really be a part of this movement you best start to get a grasp of how radical this is. In the words of Kimmi G, "Love is not an economic equation". Love can't save your marriage. Love can't even save your babies. But love is the human experience and all it wants to do is pour through us. When I wrote "Let Love In" as a push from Max, what it really means is that although we don't always get what we want, what we do get is the realization that love is something we get to do. We get to participate in relationships where we can pour love into each other, skin to skin, and eye to eye. This is the incredible gift of embodiment. So on this one month celebration of my teacher and son Max, remember the gift.
Max Love. Max wisdom.
|Max's birthstone earrings to celebrate his One Month Birthday.|